The Ball

February 23rd 1815

I could have danced all night. I have never taken so much pleasure from a ball. It is already the 24th, but I must write before I can no longer recall all the details of the day.
I awoke again early to set off on another walk to the tree. I placed my letter in the book on the root where it always rests. I turned to leave and Mr. Ackerly was there, as if called on by my dreams. I have imagined him under the tree, but had yet to see it. He was so perfect standing there.
“Hello Miss Locke, I have been here a while in hopes of seeing you this morning.” He spoke with a smile. The new day sun was bright in his brilliant blue eyes but he didn’t squint, it was as if his eyes were glowing with the sun. Did he understand how intoxicatingly good looking he was when he smiled like that? I wondered.
Almost forgetting to speak I stumbled on my words. “Were you now? It is very early to be about.”
“The fresh air is good for me.” As he said this he picked up the book and stroked the binding with his forefinger. “I love this book; I have read it many times. Have you enjoyed it?”
“I have to admit Mr. Ackerly I have enjoyed the writings within, but not all from the author Shakespeare.” What was I thinking? My heart was pounding so fast I wrapped my arms around myself in effort to control the beating butterflies within.
“You are cold Miss Locke; you should follow your advice and not be out so early in the day.” He was teasing me.
I took a step closer to him and smiled for I could not help it. “I find it very beneficial exercise to walk at least a mile everyday. My favorite time is this. Why were you in hopes of meeting me?”
“Secret meeting is so much more enjoyable than secret correspondence in my opinion.”
“It is a good thing that this meeting happened by chance then.” was my retort. Now I had the privilege of teasing him.
“Aye my lady, ‘by chance.’” His dimple appeared on his cheek exposing his delight.
I wanted to stay there all day but my toes had already lost all feeling from the cold. “I will see you at the ball tonight? It will not be a secret meeting but enjoyable just the same.” I had to keep my wits about me. He was pulling down all my defenses the longer I stood next to him the worse or rather weak I felt.
“Yes I shall be there.”
“Good, tonight then.”
He took my gloved hand and pressed his thumb over the back of my knuckles. “I shall look forward to it.”
I left him standing there. I’m afraid if I would have stayed a moment longer I wouldn’t have left at all. I could still feel the warmth of his hand on my glove, and did what I could to preserve his warmth on my walk back to Rayburn. This cannot be love that I am feeling for love is a mutual feeling between two. All of his efforts regards me must be due to his devotion to his friend. And yet, I cannot help feeling a deep admiration for him. Am I wrong? Surly not, he is a fine man.
That afternoon mother and I went to pick up our dresses. We could have sent a servant but I wanted a chance to drive pass the tree and relish in Mr. Ackerly’s and my earlier encounter on our return. Before we reached the place in the road closest to the tree I asked mother to let me walk the remaining way, and had the carriage stop. She smiled knowingly and agreed.
Upon arrival at the tree I noticed the book still there. But another letter waiting within its leaves was waiting for me. Before reading my letter I sat and read the phrase from Shakespeare it was placed in.
From The Merchant of Venice
Why, that’s the lady: all the world desires her;
From the four corners of the earth they come,
To kiss this shrine, this mortal-breathing saint:
They Hyrcanian deserts and the vasty wilds
of wide Arabia are as thoroughfares now
For princes to come view fair Portia.

Could this be a compliment? I think to myself as I open his letter.

Dearest Miss Locke,
You are an angel to be so kind in your compliments. I am merely good with contorting words to my benefit. To your question, I hope I will be a fighter when war is at hand. I cannot make any promises, for now you know my faults. I have also enjoyed the sketching of our characters. I would very much like to continue our friendship, although circumstance in the future may not allow. I would dearly love to keep you close, but that is a selfish inclination. Farewell until tonight then when we dance!
Yours ever,
Mr. William Ackerly

I could not make it out. Was he declaring admiration for me or was he letting me down softly as to not hurt me. I couldn’t tell. He was right; he does have a talent with words. I will find out tonight his feelings or I shall give up and tell him mine.
I dressed slowly for the ball to enjoy the anticipation more fully. The violet ribbon from Mr. Ackerly’s first letter was weaved through my hot ironed curls. I added a few baby’s breaths in the pins that held it all together. My new Lilac dress couldn’t have fit me better. While putting on my new matching stockings and slippers mother walked into my dressing room.
“Dearest, I have a gift for you from your father. He wishes he could be here but as you know he cannot. He sent this by express a few days ago and wishes you to wear it tonight.” While she said this she opened a small mahogany box. The most beautiful necklace lay there on the navy velvet lining. I wasn’t breathing as I stared at the thick silver braided bands enlaced with perfect white pearls.
“Oh mother, he shouldn’t have.”
“Shall we try it on?”
“Oh yes!”
As she put the necklace in place around my neck resting perfectly on my collar bone she said. “I forgot there are matching earrings!”
I felt like a queen. Father has always given me more than I ever needed. Tonight I thought I am certain will be one worth remembering.
We arrived at the ball just shortly after eight, the servants took our coats, I straightened my dress, pulled up my gloves over my elbows, and we walked in. At that moment I didn’t know myself. The entire room fell silent every eye was on Mother and I. Because of the nature of this kind of ball Mother and I were most likely one of the wealthiest guests there. Mother held her head up high and nodded as if to say “please continue.” The room again began to buzz. We were immediately approached by a tall man in a red military coat. “Lady and Miss Locke I presume. Your husband Lady Locke is a dear friend of mine and wishes me to be a friend to you and your daughter tonight.”
“Thank you, you are Colonel Ramsey correct?”
“Aye my lady, the music is about to start, shall we move to the floor?”
Mother looked at me with a grin as she said “Yes.”
I stood around the edge of the room watching mother in the first dance with Colonel Ramsey. The couples stood in the traditional line following the steps around each other and their partners. I glanced about the room searching for Mr. Ackerly. I was asked to dance by an officer, another man in a navy coat who introduced himself as Mr. Wick, interesting name. And another man I forget his name, and face come to think of it. I found that all conversation started with asking if I was awaiting someone. Undoubtedly I was very desirable for my father’s money and situation. I would make an ideal bride for any man who didn’t care for anything else. I longed to say “yes I am waiting for him now” but I had no right to claim Mr. Ackerly as I wished to. There were plenty of other women in the room whom I’m sure he would have enjoyed the opportunity to dance with.
I was stepping just outside the ball room when I first saw him. He was talking to a beautiful woman about my age. I pulled up my gloves and walked past him and his companion just close enough for him to possibly notice. I stopped at the table serving punch and asked for a glass. I then heard him say “Do, please excuse me.” He walked up behind me and tapped my shoulder. A warm quiver went through my body like walking into a room from the cold and feeling sudden heat from a fire. I turned and breathed in.
“You look like your violet sunshine tonight Miss Locke.”
“Was that a compliment Mr. Ackerly or am I to expect your teasing for the rest of the evening?”
“At least until the end of our dance Miss Locke, remember you promised me that.”
“I don’t recall promising to allow your teasing this evening, but if it guarantees me a dance with you, I’m sure I can bare it.” I smiled.
He took my hand and placed it on his arm and led me to the dance floor. I stood across from him in line as we waited for the music to begin. As it started he bowed with the line of men never leaving his deep blue eyes from mine. He continually smiled showing his dimple the whole dance, I wonder if it was just the pleasure of dancing, or if he enjoyed me as his partner. I glided close to him brushing my right shoulder to his before we stood back to back. The awareness of his closeness and warmth nearly brought me to my knees, and yet somehow we danced. With each embrace of hands he held mine a fraction longer than needed. We spoke like old friends.
“The ribbon in your hair is very fine, Miss Locke, where did you get it?” He teased.
“A dear friend of mine gave it to me but a few days ago.”
“I’m sure it was meant for no greater purpose.”
I smiled at his sweetness and I blushed in spite of myself. It could not be helped.
I paused and said. “You seem happy tonight Mr. Ackerly, have you gained some insight from the ball this evening?”
“Knowledge isn’t my sole source of happiness, and yes my dear I believe I have.”
We stood in line holding each other’s hand dancing down the narrow line until it was our turn to dance around each couple behind us, after each couple we clasped hands, and after each one he held tighter and tighter. The dance was almost over and I feared the end.
When we walked from the dance floor I could feel my ribbons from behind being slightly tugged. Did he have a hold of them? I may never know.
I then danced with a Sir Cook, the feelings were so dull and spiritless in comparison, although he seemed nice enough, and a gentlemen in every sense.
Mr. Ackerly approached me again and said, “Tell me if I am too forward, but I should so much like to dance with you again. Will you do me the honor?”
“I should like that very much.” In my mind I was thinking that the night couldn’t get better.
On our way to the floor Mr. Ackerly turned slightly and led me to a group of people. “I would like to introduce you to my brother.”
“I have no objections.”
“Good.” We approached the group. “Daniel may I introduce Miss Audrene Locke, Miss Locke, my brother Daniel Ackerly.” Daniel took my hand and bowed making perfect eye contact and smiled. “It is a pleasure to meet you finally. I have heard much of you.”
“I hope all agreeable things.”
“Yes, very agreeable indeed.” Daniel was probably a good 4 inches taller than his brother. Soft waves of champagne color hair rested to his temples. A broad chin and angular nose sat perfectly under his fiery blue eyes. These eyes I had seen before and they were next to me. I could see how they were brothers; of course the eyes and the same polished sense of self. If one wasn’t looking though they might not guess, all their other features were very different. The brothers nodded to each other and Mr. Ackerly and I went to the floor.
We danced again the sensations still as strong as the last.
“You must get so tired of so many men seeing you as a prize of 30,000 pounds; I daresay the whole ball is a buzz with it.”
“I would rather be seen as a prize of character, someone who can be respected beyond the social barriers.” I said.
“May I say your beauty is far and away worth more than the 30,000 pounds?”
“You flatter me Mr. Ackerly. Does my money not tempt you?”
“Nay, I have more than enough, I could fall in love and marry a pauper if I like.”
“Then why flatter me so if you will marry a pauper?”
“I enjoy the turn of color on your cheeks.”
“Is that all Mr. Ackerly, for that may be just the heat?” I took off my gloves and fanned my face with them to illustrate my point.
“Not all, dear lady I enjoy your company above all others. Can we dance again?” When he said this, my heart leaped into my throat.
I swallowed and said “Please, I would like to avoid all men seeking my 30,000.”
“I live only tonight to please you. If you like we shall dance the rest together.”
“I would like that above all else, but would that be prudent?”
“I don’t think we shall get objections from your family Miss Locke, or mine.”
“All right then”
When we came together at the next dance I remembered I was not wearing my gloves. The skin on his hand made mine tingle with glee. And so we danced!
I didn’t want to leave, but the night had ended. Upon leaving he took my hand and bid me farewell with a smile. I thought he’s miserably hopeless in knowing what kind of effect he has on women. When he smiles he makes my heart melt. He doesn’t do it on purpose surely, for when I talk to him he smiles not to imbalance me, but simply because he knows no other reaction, he is genuine in all his actions. He is my hero for that. I wish I was good enough a person that I didn’t constantly hold my tongue, and control my facial expressions to be correct, but rather that I automatically did the best thing. He shows me what it is to be noble. And I may show him strength. I have resolved to leave my feelings at his disposal at the tree tomorrow morning. I am putting myself at risk to do this, and yet it will feel good to let him know of my admiration for him.
Until tomorrow.